Delusional Sports Fans of the Week / Sports

Delusional Sports Fans of the Week: Dallas Cowboys Fans

Everything’s bigger in Texas, including the bias. Image via Sportsnation


There aren’t many things as cringe-worthy as the naivety of modern day Cowboys fans. Tony Romo was actually looking consistent to start the season, Joseph Randle appeared he’d be a strong replacement for Demarco Murray, and Dez Bryant only looked about 60% as psychotic as he has in past seasons. Typically, the Cowboys epic downfall doesn’t come until their late push for the playoffs or the first round of playoffs, where the whole nation gets to laugh in unison at their misery. This year however, we got an early preview of the inevitable late season implosion when Tony Romo broke his collarbone and Dez Bryant broke his foot. With the team’s two best players gone in a flash, a half-ginger Brandon Weeden filling in at QB, and a delusional owner who refuses to take his wrinkly old hands out of the team’s day-to-day operations still at the helm, what could possibly go wrong?

“Don’t worry guys, I got this.”


The rest of the nation took one look at this guy and immediately knew that Atlanta would leave the game last Sunday with the W, but not Dallas fans. Oh no, any true Dallas fans knew that “God’s team” would thrive this week behind the elite quarterback skills of Brandon Weeden and cruise to victory over the helpless Atlanta Falcons. A QB so great that Jerry Jones said of him, “His passing motion and his arm, frankly, you won’t see a more gifted passer…”. A QB who would look down upon the rest of the league’s peasant quarterback as he threw for… 0 TD’s and 1 INT for 232 yards. But at least Dallas fans believed, because in the long run that’s all that matters for a team who has probably already booked their family vacations for the months of January and February. For that reason, we appreciate your delusions Dallas. Don’t ever change.


“We are so fucked.”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s