(Source) – There was plenty of beer but it wasn’t a happy hour–or three–on southbound Interstate 75 when a Budweiser truck overturned.
Beer cans were strewn along the highway north of Tampa Tuesday after Malcolm Jamal Wilcox, 23, of Fernandina Beach became distracted by a small dog riding in the cab and lost control of the truck, according to the Florida Highway Patrol. Much of the cargo spilled onto the road, forcing troopers to close the southbound lanes in Hernando County for more than three hours.
Troopers say Wilcox was cited for careless driving. No one was injured in the crash.
This situation is a thing of dreams. You see it on the news everyone once and a while and think, ‘wow, I wish that would happen near me”. You’re just casually driving, singing along terribly to whatever song you think you know the words to even though you most definitely don’t, when all of a sudden a beer truck starts to swerve. You panic for a second but then realize that in about 15 seconds you’re going to be playing ‘how much beer can I fit in my arms in one trip?’ like you’ve been trained to do every time you do laundry. Now, we’re not monsters, of course we’re going to go check on the driver… briefly. If he’s alive and kicking though there is but one mission, acquire all beers.
Unfortunately, the beer gods were not kind to us.
Bud Light? Bud FUCKING Light??? We were so close Tampa, so close. Everything about this story instantly became terrible. Why couldn’t the driver have been hauling some grade-A booze? It’s no wonder traffic was stopped for 3 hours, absolutely no one was going to waste their time getting out of their car to go help clean up a bunch of Bud Light. If the truck would’ve been filled with cases of a remotely drinkable beer that highway would’ve been cleared before the truck driver even regained consciousness. It’s a travesty seeing potential wasted like this, but I like to being optimistic, so I’m going to go ahead and say that maybe this guy is actually a hero. Think of how many people he just saved by not getting those Bud Lights delivered. Maybe, just maybe, it caused those Bud Light drinkers to have to try something new, something good, and to that I’ll drink.