News / Sports

Toronto Raptors Fan Apparently Plans To Live Vicariously Through Lint Roller

 

Complex – A Drake lint roller sold on eBay for $55,100 yesterday. Yes, $55,100.

There were 1,200 lint rollers given out to lucky fans during Game 5 of the Toronto Raptors and Brooklyn Nets series. This, of course, was following last Tuesday’s game, when Drizzy, who was sitting courtside, pulled out a lint roller to freshen up his pants.

 

Investment of the year? Yes and no. Yes because this guy and his wallet just climbed their way straight to the top of the list worst purchases ever, and no because he just dropped 55k on a plastic lint roller that’s worth less than a Donald Sterling opinion at a Black Panther rally. Toronto was bumped from the 1st round of the NBA playoffs by the Brooklyn Nets, making this championship run memorabilia neither from an actual championship run or memorabilia at all. Now, from time to time people will run their own items up to a ridiculous price on eBay because apparently having an inside joke with yourself is something kids do nowadays instead of making real friends. If that wasn’t the case though, here’s a few things he could have bought instead:

1. A new pair of these leather joggers for every single game of the Raptors next season. No need to lint roll ’em, just throw those fuckers away and grab another pair, because you’re smart with your money and you’ve earned these 82 pairs of overpriced pants.

2. Courtside Season Tickets to the Raptors for next season… with $11,000 left over to blow on concession stand brew. That’s right, all you have to do is pass up on one measly Drake lint roller and you could have the opportunity to sit next to coach Drake yourself.

3.  A 2014 Corvette Stingray Coupe OR a 2014 Porsche Cayman. He could’ve had his choice between two sports cars, but he knows a power move when he sees it and he doesn’t conform to the baby back bullshit. Hit him with the lint roller.

 

It seems pretty clear that he made the right purchase…

 

-Brian

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